The Wonderful Life of Me!!

A lot has happened in a month

2006-05-15T05:20:00.000-08:00

Yes, a lot has happened since I last updated. Well, this friday we will be getting the internet hooked into our new house so I can finally update more often.
I am not going to talk much about this new guy b/c last time I did that with Phillip things went down hill. But I think this one is different. We both like eachother and we have been out, but the down fall to it is that we both will be moving soon and so we aren't sure weather we want to even get involved. Well I do, but it's really him who doesn't. But hopefully I can convince him with some help from a co-worker who is friends with him. For his b-day, I decided that I would go and get ballons and fill his car with them and write all over his car and I also got him a cake that has star wars on it b/c he loves that. And then Wednesday is his official b-day and he invited me to go to a resturaunt in town with his dad and a few of his friends. I told him I would go for a little while since I have to work unlike him. Oh, did I mention we do work together. That's how we met.
Well, I better get back to working on my test for class. I will be keeping you all posted even more now come Friday! And I will fill you in on the big camping trip I am going on this weekend! Sure to be even more fun then the one I went on last year this time!

I'm back!

2006-04-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

Surprise yet another online entry is here. I have no access right now at my home so I occasionally will come to the computer lab and write an update while I am waiting on people to finish the online test we take to prepare for state board. June 5th last year felt like it would never come but now I can't belive how close I am to it. And how soon I will be out in the real world. I am as of this point planning on moving to Bristol and hopefully getting on at the salon in the mall. Get an apartment and be living on my own again! But this time w/o the roommates. haha. bad experiecne but one that I think every girl should go through once in her life.

Nothing really happening in the dating scene still. But I am not bitter at all. I am just so busy with school and work and trying to find any free time that I don't have time to date right now.

I just need a friend that I can actually talk too. Someone that it doesn't have to be all about them all the time. And will actaully let me finish a sentence before they have to jump in and say something that is irrelevant to the conversation we are having.

This past weekend I went with the single adults in my stake down to atlanta to go to the temple. Thank goodness I was able to go in. I really needed to be in that environment. I needed to get the answer I received and just be still for a while and not think about any of the worldly things that I have to deal with every day. I felt so happy and didn't want to leave. I just wanted to pack up all my things and stay there forever. I guess I want to stay there b/c I feel so close to God when I am there and that he is sitting right beside me and can just help me through all my pain I am going through right now.

Yes it has been a while

2006-03-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

Well, since I have no computer access at home I have kinda given up on keeping up with this online journal. There hasn't been a lot of exciting adventures that have happened in my life lately so I really don't have lots to tell. Guys are out the picture for right now after this last guy I liked kinda just blew me off and got back together with his old girlfriend.
I can't believe that school is so close to being out. I will soon be a cosmetoligist until I decide to retire.
I know this is short and sweet and to the point but life has been not so exciting lately. Sleep work go to school. Keep reading and posting and I will try to keep updating.

life sure does throw fast ball at ya

2006-02-21T21:19:00.000-08:00

This past week has been kinda hard and tough for me. Work has just driven me up the wall so much that I am thinking about looking for a new one. My brother just left to serve his mission for the church and i will not have everyday contact with him for 2 years. Crazy hunh? I just don't know why everything gets thrown at me all at once. When I come home from work I just want to cry my eyes out. And then on top of it all I have 4 months until I will be an officaial working woman and not just have some stupid job at fast food or where ever I end up. So I am getting stressed out.
And as for dating, well lets just say "Mr. Wonderful" is on vacation and he left all the Mr. Jerks" here for me to pick from. I mean I have talked to a few nice guys but no wonderful one yet. I need to be in a bigger town where there are lots to chose from not just redneck boys.(no offense)
Living at home again with my parents doesn't make matters any better. It's hard being treated at a 5 yr old when you are flippin 21. It sucks. Any suggestion? Sure I could move out but it would be to the street. I don't have enough money to buy a place of my own. I just need more MONEY more TIME and more then SEVEN DAYS A WEEK!

I'm back!

2006-02-10T22:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right I am finally back and running again. Life has been pretty interesting. With old friends and new friends and dealing with HS kids and them trying to cause drama in my life. Nothing has really happened to me. I have been really tired lately because of over working and going to school and trying to. Last night I went to this valentines dance for church. it was interesting. I didn't dance I just talked to people and yeah I would have much rather just stayed home insted of waisting all that gas.
Life is going well. Iactually enjoy going to school and can't wait until I can actually be out inthereal world. It's crazy how fast I am growing up. I can't believe it most of the time.

See Beth, I told you I would update!

Break over?

2005-11-29T20:30:00.000-08:00

Yeah, as you can tell I was not wanting Thanksgiving break to end. I just wanted too keep on relaxing and just spending time with my family, since I never see them anymore. I am so busy with work and school that I see them to say hi or bye as one of us is going in and out. Life is crazy when you get older. It just gets hectic and you have so many obligations and don't want to let anyone down, so of coarse you agree to everything and it all falls in a space of 2 or 3 days. But the good thing about growing up is that you get to see others grow up too and see how much they want to be like all the adults around them.
Well, some good news is that I have a friend serving a mission for the mormon church in Chile right now, and I got an e-mail and a pic from him on Sunday! It was so great to hear just a small greeting from him. I feel that I know him better then some of my friends that I have known since HS. He won't hold anything back and is just very open to have a new friend in me.
I have been thinking a lot lately about where I want to go with my career after I finish in June. For some strange reason, Annapolis MD keeps popping up in my head and won't leave. But also my friend Brandy's name pops in it too b/c I feel that if I go she needs to go with me. I am not sure though. I was thinking about maybe going up there sometime in the spring and going and just looking at salons and seeing what they have to offer and what kind a deals I can get on housing also.

That would just be so great if I that could happen for me.

What am I thankful for?

2005-11-24T18:42:00.000-08:00

Today, after me and my parents endulged in a feast, I was asked the question of what i am thankful for. I had to think for a minute and I really couldn't think of what I was thankful for. Sure I could have given the normal answers of food clothing and sheltor family friends. It really made me wonder what I am truly grateful for this year. I was thinking a lot about my parents and what great examples they are. And anyone who has met them knows what I mean. They were willing to take me back into their house after I had been gone for 2 yrs. and let me stay there for free. that really shows how much they love and care about me. I was also thinking about friends a lot too. Ever since I moved back to marion, I have made a bond with one girl and it's like we have been best friends since elementary school. Sure it's only one, but one is better then none. And on the line of friends, I have been thinking a lot about my HS friends and what they still mean to me. Sure I haven't seen them in like 3 yrs., but I still think of them and chat online occasionally with them just to catch up. Another thing I am truely grateful for this year is my faith. It's been a bumpy road for me w/o it, but this year, it seems like I just grasp onto it and hopefully it will never falter. Heavenly Father has been so great to me this year and I have so much to be thankful for. And rememeber to thank him daily for all the wonderful things he has done for you. Even the little things will help your faith in him grow. Never give up on him or yourself. It will all work out in the end.

Catching up

2005-11-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

Well, I had my 21st b-day on the 13th of this month. And I enjoyed it. As you get older you realize that getting gifts is not as important as being with people that matter to you. Having my friends and family there was so much more important then getting gifts. Even better then that are friends that call.
It's hard to realize that it has almost been 3 years since I moved from TN and started my own life i guess or as I heard put closing one chapter and beginning a new one. I have grown up a lot since HS and have learned more about myself and about my friends. I have learned to appreciate the talks I do get to have with old friends, but not to stay to close to them, but to venture out and make new best friends. If you think about it, I am sure almost everyone has a friend in every state and maybe even some out of the US. If you think about that, there are a lot of people looking out for you and thinking of you all the time. So if you ever just get that urge to call up someone or just send a short e-mail DO IT! Never hesitate or you could be missing something a friend wants you to know

Things to ponder

2005-11-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder why things happen in your life? I do. I spend many nights thinking about where I wish I was and where I actaully am in this world. I sometimes wonder if God already knew that place wouldn't work out for me so he found as many ways to not get me there. Sometimes we listen and feel like we are doing what he wants us to do and then other times we don't care and just go for what we want right then and forget about the consequences that might come from it we just want to go for us.
Lately, all I want to do is ponder about my life. Sure I have school and work, but while I am at school even, when I am working on a haircut, I find myself gazing out into my future and seeing me with a family and a career and a FUTURE! Sure I had thought about what I wanted to be and where I wanted to end up but not as strong as I have been. It just feels right though. That I should be focusing on this and not silly drama anymore. Im not trying to say that if you haven't had any pndering moments like this in your life u are bad or not thinking, I just feel it's not your time to really ponder this hard about it

This is not your imagination........

2005-11-07T23:28:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am actually updating my blog! I am so bad at doing this. Not really a lot happening in my life right now. I have been working and going to school. But I did squeeze in a trip to see my awesome friend CJ at Virginia Tech on Saturday! That was so much fun! Me and Lori had an adventure getting up there. Getting lost going the wrong way down one way streets and lots of slamming of the breaks. We had a blast together and made it back to Marion, Va safely!
Sometimes I wish there were a few guys in my cosmetology class. I hate dealing with the girls in HS still and the ones that just graduated last year. They cause so much drama and clickyness(sure that's a word in Jen's dictonary). It's just funny how they have to talk bad about everyone until that person enters the room. Then it's just silence b/c you know they've been talking about you. It's kinda funny actually, but most of the time I just ignore them and just go on with working on cutting or coloring or whatever. So no school tomorrow! Yay! Have to get my eyes checked and see how bad off my vision is now! YES!

Why write when no one post comments?

2005-10-20T16:54:00.000-08:00

I think my title says it all for me today. Well I was so happy about not having school today that I volunteered myself and went to work at 5:30 am. Yeah i was really tired especailly since I had worked the night before until about 10ish. And then didn't go to bed until like 12ish so after work I came home and then had to go back to work since they somehow owed me more money and then I got my car washed and then I came home and slept until I got a phone call from my friend Ethan. We talked for like 15 mins then I ate dinner and then went with my dad and bought oil for my car. Then I came back home and am now taking a break from studying for my cosmetology test tomorrow.
Oh wow! Yesterday I put on a show for my co-workers and a few customers. I decided since I work at sonic and everyone always wanders where are stakes are, to put them on and just skate around. Bad decision. I didn't fall but I couldn't keep myslef balanced well. I flapped my arms a lot like I was flying away somewhere but just didn't take off. Well, I took off down the parking lot just not into the air like I would like to. So, they were all laughing at me, but no one else was brave enough to put on the skates so I did. I tried and will never do that again. I'm glad I can bring laughter to people. It makes me happy to see my general manager have a smile on her face b/c of me doing something silly like skating. So if u are ever down let me know and I will think of something to cheer u up. A story or just acting myself. :)

Time sure does fly when ur having FUN!

2005-10-16T18:12:00.000-08:00

So, Im sorry for anyone who actually reads this blog. It's been about 3 weeks since I have written and I have had a lot of good in my life the past few weeks and lots of good thinking opportunities.
Yes, the Air Force Navy game was AMAZING and it was an experience I will never forget. I got to go with my best friend Brandy and we got to see one of the coolest people ever from HS. The sad part was that he didn't get to play. So we didn't see him on the field :( we only got to hang out with him afterwards, which was good. I learned a lot about me and my friend Ethan that weekend and a lot has changed for the good of both of us. We have decided that friends will always be our title even in the after life and that we just won't talk as much on the phone as we have been just on IM and that hasn't been happening a lot either b/c I really don't think he wants to talk to me anymore. I really just thinks he wants us to both move on and not see or speak again. Which will be sad throwing away 5 years of the coolest guy friend a girl could only imagine having. But I have lots of other guy friends that I guess I could go too instead of being friends with him.
Listen at me getting all like an elementary school child when there best friend decides they don't want to be friends anymore. It's heartbreaking. But you get over it and find a new best friend.
School and work are both going well and I love both right now. Yes there are times I wish I was finsihed with school and could just be out there in the world with a "real" job and not be at fast food anymore. I can't wait for my career to launch off. Oh it's an exciting feeling.
Well, now I will close and let you know that things are going great for me right now and I hope that they continue just to go up and never down anymore.

Wow I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I've written

2005-09-28T11:39:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know, I'm slacking on the blog. School and work just take up most of my time now. And when I do have some time to spare I try to spend it with my friends in Marion or with my parents. So I don't have a lot of time to sit down and write a blog. I mean I am sure I could make time to do it but I don't.
So what's happened? Well, I bought a car! A 2006 Chevy Cobalt and I am in love with it. It's so cute and totally me! I can't wait to take it up to Maryland and show my freind Ethan! Yeah not this coming up sat. but the following I totally get to go the the Navy Air Force game! Im so excited! Guys in uniform everywhere! Hot guys to be exact! Oh man what fun it shall be. I get to take my best friend Brandy with me. And she's excited too. GO NAVY!! I have to give a shout out to Ethan for giving me the tickets. He's the greatest friend ever! Sometimes I can't believe we have still remained so close since we graduated 2 yrs ago from HS.

I'm beginning to find out who I am

2005-09-19T17:43:00.000-08:00

So I am just loving being in cosmetology school. I am learning so much and having a ball with myself. I have already waxed my eyebrows cut my hair and dyed it. And I am not even a month into it! Who knows what I will look like when I come out in a year! Oh man it's gonna be exciting.

By doing this I have learned more about me in the process. I have learned to have more confidence in myself and forget about people who have nothing better to do then to talk about me!

Well, I am now in the process of buying a car. I think I am going to get a saturn. I think they are super cute and they are affordable for me right now. Because my dad wants me to buy a new car b/c he will feel more safe if I had something new not used.

Not to much else is happening in my life right now

WIll this bad day ever end?

2005-09-13T22:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I hope this doesn't tun into a bad week. I have never been such a bitch in my life before. I don't know what I have been taking to piss people off but it's been in my nature for the past few days. And it just seems like everyone has pissed me off in someway even if they didn't know it. I need a vacation! Well, hopefully I will get one on Oct. 7-9 and be watching hot guys play football at the Naval Academy! Yes, it's great to have a best friend who goes to that school and plays for the team! It's a plus for me. And you know what else is a plus? HOT GUYS IN UNIFORMS! Need I say more!
My b-day is exactly 2 months from today! Nov. 13 and I will be 21. Legal adult finally! It's hard to believe I am going to be 21. I can still remember my first day of kindergaden and being scared and now look I am all grown up and almost an adult. AHHHH! That means more responsibilities! Oh No! Maybe I don't want my b-day to come. I already have enough responsibilities as it is. I can't take anymore! What am I going to do? Maybe I will just make an underground hole and live there in solitude until I die? That would be pretty relaxing if I had money to not have to work and just chill all the time. Oh the days of retirement. Should be fun! But scary because then you feel old and not important because you don't work so you are being very prductive and you just feel like you shoud go since you can't make money and work like all other people in this world do. I don't want my b-day to come can we just pause time and never leave this day?

Things Just Seem Clearer

2005-09-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

I have to thank my dear frien Ethan today! Last week, we had a discussion about religion and ourselves basiclly. And he said something that really stuck out to me and I have been trying to do. I don't remember it word for word but it was somewhere on the lines of him telling me to make more time for myself alone with Heavenly Father and finding my place in this life. That really jumped out at me and so this past week since we have talked. I have really been reading my scriptures more and having more sincre prayers instead of repeative ones. I have noticed a lot of more happiness in my life and more feeling of peace and calm about me. And I feel so much more happier about going to church and being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka Mormon). And even though he doesn't believe everyhthing I do, he still helps me get back on the right path. So thanks a lot! You have made me a better person everyday! Love Ya!

Cosmetology school is going wonderful. Sure it's not easy and something I catch onto faster then others, but I am enjoying all the struggles I make. And it's good to have good friends in the class that are positive and motivate you to not give up. 3 girls that are super! Candace M., Candace S., and Sarah! They have become my cosmetology buddies and they we have so much fun together. And they keep me wanting to get up everyday and continuing it.

Not to much else going on. I have a busy yet boring life of work and school, but I do make time for myself and just having some play. I would just go insane if I was all work no play. What would I be like? I don't want to even imagine!

Back to school

2005-08-29T17:17:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't updated since I have started school so I might as well. It's going well. I am just having some troubles with the whole studying thing. But other then that I love it. The girls are super sweet and so nice. I get along with all of them so far. We all feel like this is the greatest choice we have made in our lives. It's so much fun. It's like playing and hanging out with your girl friends all day and just having fun. One girl said it's like having a huge slumber party everyday.
Other then school, I have been just been working and things seem to be going well there also. Right now, there just seems like nothing can go wrong. I hope I didn't just curse myself by saying that because it seems like everytime I say that or something like that I get screwed over and have a hard time. I just need to pray more and rely more on God and know that he will never lead me the wrong way in this life.

Tomorrow's the big day!

2005-08-16T13:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right tomorrow I offically am back in school! I am super excited and can't wait. It feels like forever but really it's only been a year. But a year is a long time to be out of school.

Lately, I have been wondering why I haven't found a wonderful guy to be part of my life. Just when I think I found them, I find out he's got a girlfriend or doesn't want a relationship or just isn't interested in me. But why wouldn't they? Im pretty, Im sweet, Im funny, outgoing, very energized and easy going. I just happen to be the girl that all guys want as a best friend. And the hookup when they can't find anyone else for the night to have. What about me makes them like me only like that. Well, I know I don't have a problem with flirting, that's the least of my problems with guys, I just tend to flirt with all the ones that have a g/f.

An update is needed for all!

2005-08-08T16:07:00.000-08:00

Well, it seems like the boring phase has ended and the interesting has begun.
It all started last week when me and my new best friend in Marion Brandy and another girl from Marion Alisha went on a single adult campout for the stake. When Brandy's mom came and took us to Chilhowie to meet Alisha, we pull into the McDonalds parking lot and all we see is her putting water into her car b/c it was over heating. The first thing Brandy's mom says is are y'all gonna be ok? And we all 3 are like oh yeah we will make it. Well we get in and she tells us we are going to trade cars with her sister b/c her car is fine and works great. Well, we get to Abigdon and get her sisters car and everything is going well...... until all of a sudden traffic dead stops and alisha didn't realize she just thought they had slowed down. Well we get about 700ft. from the car infront of us going 70mph and we all realize we are going to crash. Luckily, Alisha was calm and swerved into the emergency lane just in time not to crash! Man we got lucky. And I thought all people were nice and kind when driving and let people in when they needed to get over. Well we learned that the male species are jerks when they drive and this one guy would not let us get in front of him when we were trying to merge into traffic. So then things atarted going well again until we got into Kingsport TN. Then we were on our way to the stake center and the alternator went out. So again luckily there was the GM dealership and her car happened to be a GM model so we coasted into the dealership and someone came and picked us up and took us to meet up with everyone. So we got the camp site and had a great time there. And then it went by so fast and it was over and then we came back to Marion. But the weekend was not over yet. Just me and Brandy went up to Kentucky for a visit. She was baptized in Kentucky so we went to her ward there to see her friends. And would you know one of the guys that was on his mission that liked her was there too. Well we all knew we were going to met up there. That's why she wanted me to go. And on our way there we encountered I believe 3 wrecks it could have been more though. I don't remember. But WOW what a fun, unforgetable weekend we had. And this weekend we might try to do it all over again and go to SC to the temple. Who knows where we will end up though! Hope you have enjoyed this I had to update and let you all know what's going on.

Will this feeling ever go away?

2005-07-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

Well, things have still been about the same since last time I blogged. I still have this overwhelming feeling of being alone in this world b/c all my friends are so far away it seems that I can't even have them come over and just talk. That's really hard for me right now. I need to know that I have someone here for me all the time. I need that best friend to just call me when he/she thinks they just want to see how I am doing. So if anyone that reads this ever gets that urge to call me PLEASE LISTEN TO IT. Because I probably do need it.

I just want to curl up in a ball and hide away for a few days

2005-07-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

I feel so alone inside and that I have no one to talk to. My friends are far away and I can't just drive to their homes and cry on their shoulders. But now that I am in Marion and have no car, I have no way to get to them. So I must make the sacrifece and make new friends. So please does anyone want to be my friend?

I wish I knew all the answers

2005-06-27T13:23:00.000-08:00

Why do friends hurt each other? I know sometimes they may not even realize they are doing it but they do. It just hurts me inside to see a close friend so I think doing something wrong. They don't think anything of it b/c their "new" friends all do it and they think it's fine since they are. Oh if they only knew how much hurt it causes me inside. It just makes me want to cry all night for them and hope they hear me crying and praying for them. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to cry for you anymore. Maybe one day I will just tell you that I hate you and that I hope you have a great life without me in it helping you doing bad things. Sometimes I wish sin didn't exist but then we would not need to exist either.

One of the Happiest Days In My 21 years of LIFE!

2005-06-25T14:02:00.000-08:00

Today, I got home from work, ehh typical day of work, and talked to my aunt and mom for a while and then I went and checked the mail. I have been waiting all week from the Cosmetology School to see if I have been one of the lucky ones that have been chosen to attend the school here in Marion. I WAS! Out of the 50 that applied, only 22 were selected and I was one of them! So far this has been the highlight of my life! Well except getting into SVU and getting to live on my own. OK so there were a few highlights before, but this is the first since I have returned from Utah. And I have a feeling there are lots more to come after this. If hadn't told you yet. I have been giving the calling as Nuserery Leader here and I love it. I love the kids. There are 5 of them and they are all so vibrate and happy to be alive. If only they knew what was in store for them in the future. They would never want to grow up and face the trials and tribulatios of the world. I know they are going to be wonderful kids because they already know so much and have been here only a few short years. There parents have done an amzing job of raising them and teaching them about Heavenly Father and Jesus Chirst. It just amazes me when I here them talk about Heavenly Father and how they are so kind to one another and just love being together. Kids can teach us many things. I think that is why I was put there. To learn from them and grow. Sure they are only 2 and 3, but their minds are those of older kids. They have taught me patience and how much I truely love kids and how grateful I am that one day I can be a mom and have my own kids!

YAY! I am just so EXCITED today because I got my letter finally and am relieved that I made it in. Anyone for a haircut!

Time sure does fly on by!

2005-06-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

Wow! I hadn't realized that it's been almost a month since I have last updated y'all on my life. Well maybe b/c not much has been happening. I should find out this week if I have been accepted into cosmetology school. And then I hope to save up for that really fast and then be able to buy a car. I have my dream car but I don't think I can get that yet. I love Jeep Wranglers and if I have my way I would totally get one of those. But life doesn't always go the way I want it too, so I would be lucky if I even get a car. They are such a pain though. You have to keep gas in them and keep them clean and get in fixed all the time and take care of it like it was your own child. Im not ready for those kinds of reponsibilities. I am only 20.
So I will be hopfully starting at Sonic this weekend. Finally somewhere I really loved working. I wish I never had to leave that place. I don't know if the one here in Marion will be different then the one I worked at in Kingsport. The only difference will be probably less tips since this town is not nearly as well off as good ol' K-town. Man I miss that place now that I don't live there anymore. I seem to appreciate places a lot more when I leave them, well expect Provo! I will never miss that place. Sure I miss the people and the friends I made butI will never miss that place at all. Why people chose to live there is out of my comprehension. Anyone who lives in Utah, Im just so sorry that you have to be there. My advice: RUN AWAY! Get away as fast as possible before you get sucked inside the bubble. My great friend Renee and I had this wonderful conversation about why guys who just get off their missions all want to go out to BYU. And we just figure to get married. But what they don't realize is that all they will find out there are girls who have lived there all their life and want to stay there and ones that wear their religion on the shoulder so bold that they are stuck-up when average people like myslef try to talk to them about the church. They are always right even if they don't know the answer to it. And I could just go on and on. This is what happens when you have a snoddy roommate who thinks it's a sin if you are 1 min. late to church or if you aren't ready scripture 24/7 or indulging in religious activites. They look down upon you and make you feel worthless. So thank you roommate, who I will not mention her name, for making me hate Utah and the people of that state. YOU ROCK!!!!

Finally have a job!

2005-05-26T16:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I have a job. I am working as a receptionist at a hotel in town. But the bad thing is that I am doing the 3rd shift(11pm-7am) so my sleep and eating is all messed up. I think now that I work at the hotel I wish I would have never given up my job at Pizza Hut. My life has been really boring which is why I haven't written in a while. I haven't done a lot. Just been working and then coming home sleeping and then going to bed and waking up for a few hours and then going to work. I have no time to have FUN anymore and I think that's how it's going to be all summer. Hopefully I will earn enough money in the summer that I can quit at the hotel and then just get a part time job somewhere working a few nights a week. Just so I can still have money to pay my bills.

Still need a JOB!

2005-05-13T18:38:00.000-08:00

Why does it have to be so dang hard to get a job. I hate the process and always will. Went to my younger bros band concert tonight that was awesome! He was really good. He's planning on going to BYU in the fall and be in the marching band. I think that would be good for him right now.

Well, as you can see not a lot has happened to me since I last updated. I don't know a lot of people here in Marion VA since I never lived here until after HS and so it's pretty hard to meet people unless you have a job. I mean not that I am complaning about not having a job. I am put to work as a slave at work. Yeah my parents say that we will treat you as another adult just living with us. Well, that lasted about a day and then they were back to their old selves forcing me to do things I don't want to do and telling me what I have to do all the time.

Help Wanted!

2005-05-09T21:37:00.000-08:00

I hate trying to find a job! I wish I could just snp my fingers and I would have a job that will help me pay for school and new clothes etc. I really really really need a job too. I feel so lazy when I don't have one. I don't know what I am going to do when I get married and start having kids. I will just have to work from home so that I feel like I am still doing something.

So yeah, that's about all that's been happening with me. I am sure that life will get more interesting as I get to know more people here in this small town of Marion VA. But for now I don't really know anyone here. I feel like the new kid in school that doesn't know anyone and just hates that they had to move to a new place.

Days Go By

2005-04-26T13:56:00.000-08:00

Wow! Has it really been this long since I have updated my blog? See, no one ever told me how they remember to keep theirs up so I have not had very good success.
Well, to update y'all. I am back on the east coast living with my family and trying to find a job and hopefully in the fall make it into cosmetology school. Oh how I am excited to be on back east and see all the wonderful green tress and the grass that is real not artifical(Provo is famous for that) and to be able to breathe very well when I am outside. That is fantastic for me who struggled for almost a year of not getting use to the high altitude of Utah and the thin air. I survived since I am writing you this update, or so you think it's me. It could be some hacker who has gotten ahold of my account and is just pretending to be me. Or it really could be me! You will never know.

Until next time. Farewell

YAY for ICECREAM!

2005-04-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest things ever invented has to be icecream. It makes people happy and you forget about all the bad things that have happened to you that day.

Food i general makes people happy and come together. I love it so much and am glad that we have it. I don't think I could ever be anoxeric b/c i love food so much and it shows in my stomach.

So now, I am gonna make my list of things I love in my life right now (in to particular order):

1. music
2.sunshine
3. puddle jumping
4. ICECREAM!
5. friends
6. shopping!
7. Tim McGraw
8. random facts
9. long walks
10. talking to friends on the phone
11. Tennessee!
12. BEACH
13. EAST COAST BABY!
14. BOYS!
15. flirting :)
16. long talks
17. walking in the rain
18. guys in uniforms
19. family
20. seeing friends that you haven't seen in forever!
ok so yeah, you get the pic with those. I could go on forever and ever with my list but I think I will stop there before I think of the millions more that I can put on there.

Thought keeping coming to my head

2005-04-11T22:12:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder why you having certain things that come to you mind. Like why do you think about that. I think about why I am out here in Utah and wish I wasn't here. I am glad I did come though. I have learned a lot of things about myself. I think that was the reason why I was sopposed to come here was to find the real Jennifer. And I think I have found me and am ready to start a new life and forget all the bad that has happened and remember all the good. I wish everyday could be like yesterday was. Wake up do a little necessary shopping for cleaners etc. coming back and feeling like I should go out with a freind and just talk to her and then coming home and then later going out again with other friends for icecream and enjoying their company and just letting lose and not having a care in the world. And then going to FHE and going home early from it b/c for once in your life you don't feel like being social. Sometimes it's great not to be social and just see what other people have to say. I enjoyed that a lot. You know what else I like. Akward(sp?) silence. Sometimes it's just funny to see everyone staring at eachother and then start laughing to cover up the silence. Maybe for my next blog I will just have a list of things I like and love in my life at this time. I think everyone should have a list like that just so that others can see what makes you happy.

Please, please, please leave your comments. Weather I know you or not. I love seeing what people have to say about my random thoughts on here. B/c most of the time when I am writing them, it's early in the morning or late at night or I just woke up and my brain still hasn't opened itself up for learning and writing them. So sometimes I look back on them and think that's really funny that I wrote that. Or I think what the heck was I thinking when I said that. Yeah, I can be really random. But I don't care, b/c I know y'all still love me despite being dumb and retarded. :)

I hate the mail

2005-04-11T15:12:00.000-08:00

I have been waiting for weeks for the stupid mail to deliver my tax info from Southern Virginia University. I hate it so much. B/c it's not 4 days until I have to have my taxes in and I still do not have it. I hate the school too. I have e-mailed and called with nothing back but we have mailed it to your address a few weeks ago. They don't help by sending it agian or anything. I just wanna scream so much at them.

Well on a better note. I am going home in 12 days! And today I went to Cafe Rio. Yummy so good! And then I went and saw The Wedding Date. It would have been better and made more sense if me and my friend Jayne were on time. But it was pretty good.

Yeah, nothing really interesting going on in my lilfe and I can't think of any random facts to say. You can always just talk to my friend John that lives here if you want to hear random facts and see a guy who wears toe socks. Oh and sorry I will not marry him ever. No way. I would shoot myslef before I get stuck with him forever.

Yeah for clean apartment!

2005-04-07T23:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's offical. Me and my roomie have cleaned up our entire room and the rest of the apartment! It looks so nice and it just feels better when it's clean. It makes us all in such a better mood. It's weird how a clean house does that to people.

Well not much has been happening with me in my life. Just trying to get things done before deadlines come.

So yeah, this is gonna be super short today.

Somedays I just like being nice

2005-04-05T20:46:00.000-08:00

Today was just one of those days when I woke up and wanted to do something nice for people. So, what do you know yesterday when I was at the store I just happened to pick up cookie dough. So I made cookies for the boys apartments in my FHE group which is only 2 apartments so that was a plus. Those 2 guy apartments are some of the grestest guys in the ward. And some people feel that FHE parents should hook up especailly when they are both cute. Well, that will never happen with me and John. We will be always be good freinds but nothing more Rach and Beth. Sorry. I just can't do it. It would ruin the reputation of FHE in the ward. And I wouldn't want to be the cause of that. I'm too good for that.

So I can't wait to go home. I hope that I can go up to Maryland and see Rach again. I had fun hanging with her and Beth when she was here. But the best part of the trip is going to Annapolis and see my friend Ethan who goes to the Naval Acadmey. Maybe this time he will introduce us to people and not just talk to them while we are standing there. Guys can be ugly and then they put that military uniform on and they just turn SIZZLING HOT all of a sudden. It's so true and anyone who knows someone in the miltary can testify of the truthfilness of this.

Less then a month I will be home and be a east coast girl for the rest of my life! I hope!

Well yeah, that's about all that's been going on with me since I last updated.

Only 23 Days!

2005-03-31T17:19:00.000-08:00

I have offically started the count down to going HOME! 23 days and counting. I will be laving Utah for a long time and being back where I belong. IN THE SOUTH! Yes! I know THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN because I will be there to lead it!

Not a lot has happened since I last wrote. My life is pretty boring. I have been working a lot and so hopefully tonight I will get to go and see a movie with a great friend. Her name is Jayne and she is one of my best friends here in Utah. We always have great times together when we hang out. And even more fun when we worked together. Throwing fries at eachother, giving out fake phone numbers to guys at the Drive-Thru and just laughing and talking. Man those were the days. And then she had to quit and move to Pizza Hut. Gosh Jayne I want to go too. I would rather be there working then at Dariy Queen with all girls and one guy well he's not all guy if you know what I mean. I think it would be so much more fun to work at a place where it was mainly guys working. It would be so much more fun and I just get a long so much better with guys then girls. Sorry girls I love ya. I mean there are a few girls that I get along with but the majority of them are just idiots.

Yeah so this just turned into me bashing my own sex. Sorry girls I love ya. but I love guys more. :)

Rach is here!

2005-03-26T13:24:00.000-08:00

Need I say more...... I am so glad I get to see her today and Beth. It's gonna be fun just hanging and catching up on everything and anything. I had to work this morning from 11-1 and we basiclly just sat around ate pizza and talked about things happening. Wow I got paid to talk. Do you know how much I could make doing that. I love talking and will talk to everyone including myself. I would be rich if I got paid to talk to people.

Have I ever mentioned I much I just love sunny days? I am such a better mood when the sun is out then when it's cloudy and yucky. If I had a world it would always be sunny but it would still rain when the earth needed to be watered but as soon as it was done raining it would be sunny again.

Do you know what I miss though more then sunny days? I love THUNDER STORMS!!! They don't have them like they have them back east. I am so looking forward to those.

Do you ever wonder?

2005-03-25T10:41:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder why things happen? I sure as heck do. I like to ask questions that no one would ever know answers too. Was their a reason we were put into a certain family or a certain state or how did I and everyone else living in the USA get lucky enough to live here? These are things I wonder about all the time and can never find the answer too. It's very confusing. And once you start thinking of one question they just keep piling up on you and who are you to turn too? All the people that I know haven't told me an answer that I wanted to hear. It's answers like you were sent their for a reason and you have to figure out why. I don't want to figure it out I want to be told. So if anyone has a decent answer I would highly appreciate it bunches

One More Month!

2005-03-23T11:54:00.000-08:00

Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me! Good ol' Rocky Top. Rocky Top Tennessee! Man how i miss Tennessee and the east coast. In exaclty one month from today, I will be HOME! I wish it was gonna be TN but it's not since my parents moved to Virginia. That's ok though, it's still the east coast. I will always be a good ol' southern girl. Never anything else.

I think I did something to my roommates because they were being rude and mean to me last night and saying crap about me. And they didn't know I was home until one of them came out and saw me and was like "oh hi" and then hurried back to the bathroom to tell them I was back. When they found out I was back they just started whispering really soft andI could tell they were kinda embaressed that they got caught, because they are being all nice and I can tell they feel really bad about it. Now I know that they are all lying to me b/c they all say that they never say anything bad about anyone that lives here. Well, they are BUSTED! In one month I won't have to worry about them ever again! Thank goodness. Sure I will miss Lori and Janessa but the other 3 I could care less about what they do or where they end up.

I miss the warm weather we have been having. It's all turned into yucky bad weather. Not that I don't mind the rain, I just miss the sun.

I have still been having such a super week despite what happened last night. I still love and care about all my roommates and always will. I just don't know how they will ever understand me. They don't take the time to see me for who I am. All they ever think about it the bad and they forget I have much more good in me then I have bad.

Monday Monday

2005-03-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

I am actually a fan of Mondays. I don't have to work so I can sleep in and Mondays seem to set the mood for the week, and I think this is gonna be a GREAT week! To start off, last night I went and talked to Adam. He's the guy that I was having some drama with. We didn't talk about what had happened the previous week, we just talked like everything wa normal and nothing happened before.
Next, one of my best friends Rachael Hoover is in town this week and I get to see her on Sat. We have lots to catch up on and not a lot of time to do it. Oh man it's gonna be SUPER FUN! Just like good ol' SVU! Plus I get to hang out with Beth too. She's one of the coolest girls ever. I can't wait to met her
In a month and 2 days I will be back on the east coast for good! Sure I will miss Utah but not as much as I miss the east coast. There will always be a soft spot in my heart for Utah people, but what crazy person would ever want to be here until they die? I just don't understand them at all. I'm sure there are people who would rather have their kids grow up in the "bubble" of Utah but I'm not one of them. Kids need to know their are other people besides mormons in the world.
Things are just looking up for me now after a long streesful week sometimes it just helps to have one great day. And one great day can always lead into a GREAT WEEK!

Saturday is a Special Day!

2005-03-19T14:05:00.000-08:00

I love Saturdays! I get to talk to all my friends from home. And I get to enjoy the nice weather by going on long walks and thinking and pondering about my life and all the success I have had and the success that is to come.

I am especially excited today b/c in one week Rachael Hoover will be in Provo! She is one of my closest bestest friends ever. I don't know what I would do without a friend like her in my life. She cheers me up and I cheer her up we keep eachother going all the time.

Sometimes I don't understand why I was put with my roommates. They are just very interesting people. One min. they hate you and then the next they love you and care so much about you. Girls can be interesting.

I think I have taken my name out as a member of the B.A.S.S. Club(Boys Are So Stupid). I would much rather be around a guy then a girl any day. They don't backstap you, well most of them don't. They get over things and move on, well again most of them do(adam). Don't worry i can put his name b/c he doesn't have my screen name. :)

Up and Down and all around

2005-03-18T16:41:00.000-08:00

things have been up and down since I last wrote about just wanting to be sad. I have learned that guys are still immature even if they are in their 20's and home from their mission. i just don't know what the deal is with them. You think they like you b/c they are totally throwing out signs that they do. But then when you confront them they act like they are in middle school and don't even want to talk to you or be friends anymore. What are your problems guys? Just tell girls if you like them or not so they don't get hurt or hated by people. Grow some balls and just be a man about it and they will thank you in the end for letting them know how you really feel.

Some up news, I got to see my good freind Cami today. She is on spring break so she flew out to utah to hang out with her family and friends so I got to spend a couple hours catching up with her and getting the latest Southern Virginia University gossip and letting her in on the latest with me. It was so nice just to get out of the apartment and be outside. I am loving the weather that Utah is having, except for the fact that is snowed for like 5 mins yesterday and then it got super sunny and nice. It was slightly odd.

I will be home in a month and 5 days. Oh man am I EXCITED :) it's going to be great to be home and not worry about the drama of roomies and I can start over again and try to find me.

Today I just feel like being sad

2005-03-08T14:37:00.000-08:00

If you have never seen Alex: the Life of a Child, you should totally see it. It made me cry and realize how important life really is. And how much you love someone when you lose it. I have just been sturggling throughout life tyring to find the real me. And it's been hard but I have found me and I am glad I have. But today I don't feel like I am Jen. I feel alone and scared and afraid of everything. I can't understand what has happened. I feel like if someone said one bad thing about me I would just burst into tears and feel hurt. I am just very vunerable today and have not wanted to talk to anyone or do anything. I went for a small walk and it was just nice to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather we have been having in Utah.

I think the main reason I am feeling so down is that I really miss my family. When I go to FHE on Mondays and see the family that I have been put with here in my ward, it makes me feel peace but also some sadness also, because I miss my real family and all the fun times we had growing up. I can't wait to go home and see them.

man i love this weather!

2005-03-06T11:28:00.000-08:00

Today has been so nice and sunny and it has just made me so much happier. Sure it was still chilly, but it was sunny and blue skies, so that's all that matters to me. I can't seem to get that Nelly and Tim McGraw song "Over and Over" out of my head. Sure it's a great song until you get it stuck in your head and you can't concentrate on anything but that. Last night, I was so miserable at work. We got super busy for a few hours and I was just so tired and stressed out that I just couldn't function at all. I was almost at the point of tears. I can't handle working another stupid fast food place again after this. I will go insane. Hopefully there will be other opportunities besides fast food when I go home. I am hoping and praying. Oh man I am so dang excited to be heading back east in april. I really miss the east coast so much. I miss the green and the FALL since there isn't one like the ones back east. I don't miss the humidity though. That is one thing I will never miss.

Have you ever wondered why certain things in life happen to us? I think about this all the time. Like why did I chose to come to utah or why do i want to go home. And the only thing I can really think of is that there is a reason and a purpose for everything that we so in this life. You fulfill your reason for being there and so it's time to move on to another place and leave your mark for others to see.

What's the Deal?

2005-03-05T16:50:00.000-08:00

What's the deal with friends never calling you back?
What's the deal with guys?
What's the deal with drama?
What's the deal with roommates?
What's the deal with people in general?

Yes, as you can see, there are lots of "what the deal" questions I have on my mind today. Sometimes you just have to ask dumb questions like that to know what the answers are. Life just likes to through stuuf like that at you just so you will ask yourself questions like these and make other people think you are dumb and retarded. And it seems that they never have the answers to them, and since they don't have the answers they start thinking about them and then the cycle will continue with them asking someone those questions and them not having an answer and asking someone else and so on and so on. Life seems to be like that a lot. Where you have a question that no one knows the answer too and no one else does either and it just keeps going in a cycle until eventually someone has an answer that you accept. My answer that I accept is: that's just how it is and nothing is going to change. You can't change freinds, or people or roommates or your past. You just have to be content with it and realize it will never CHANGE!

What a beautiful day it has been

2005-03-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

Man oh man I can't belive the weather we have been having in Utah for the time of the year. I love it. But it sucked today because I was stuck at good ol' Dairy Queen from 11-5 and by then I was so tired that I didn't even want to do anything but lay around and be lazy. Oh man I am super excited to go home in April! And to start school in August. YES! Cosmetology Wrold here comes Jen! Oh man my bestest friend ever Rachael Hoover is coming out to see Me and Beth! YEAHHHHHHHH!!!! I am so dang excited about that. It is going to be so much fun and we all have so much catching up to do.

So I can't belive I am actually doing one of these online journal things. I have never been a big fan of doing them just because I never remember to do them after I start them and then I just have to much to write and then I just stop doing it because they will take forever to finish. So if anyone has any ideas on how they remember to do these things let me know